The color of my skin and the volume of my flesh have affected the perception of myself. In Malaysia, where I grew up, a combination of British colonial rule and harmful beauty standards perpetuated through media has had an enormous effect on my self-perceptions and many others. One especially toxic standard, commonly called “colorism,” is a form of discrimination that devalues darker skin tones. The effect for me is that when I recall specific events in my life where I had been mistreated due to the shade of my skin, it comes in fragments. My spotty memory results from derealization, a symptom of my underlying mental health issues.
My work revolves around how I have navigated my life, particularly with beauty, self, and queerness. The pressure of outward perception, my struggle with sexuality, and my detachment from reality are driving forces behind my work. My media of choice revolve around integrating textiles, video, sound, and illustrations into my installation experiences, worn objects, screen-based interactive work, and narrative and non-narrative storytelling. For my work, I choose the media that interweaves the digital and physical space together and how it connects to my ideas of beauty and self.