I spent so much time recording several gigabytes of vulnerable videos of myself, then starting a website and learning tools by scratch, playing with the different functions, and even putting together a script that I was going to film and put together. But with each one, I felt such brief instances of motivation before it was completely flushed out of my system. It’s like when your computer fans just start whirring and breathing really hard and everything goes slow. The perpetual state of nothingness, the whole time I was trying to figure out how to even portray that, and to be honest, it made me feel like I was just a machine designed to just keep running in place, like I wasn’t going anywhere. Maybe I am putting much more meaning into a simple blue screen, but it made me think of the ways we interpret art and what constitutes art. Like I do all this work to create a piece yet the trouble and process I put into it goes unrecognized. The only thing that matters is the finished product. And my finished product is nothing.